Video critique?

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I am looking for some critique here, I know it's not on Youtube but that's because it's a WIP. The darker segments were from last week due to bad lighting placement and the lighting position was improved when I was with my friends (I'm behind camera) this past Tuesday (9/23)

Warning: Bad language and crude humor ahead!

Edit: This may be in wrong subforum, so please move if necessary.
 
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